Welcome to the thoughts of a Dwarf. This intrepid site is designed primarily to allow a place where I can store all of my writings, be it stories or poems or illogical philosophical rants. I hope to be able to provide interesting reading material for my friends and the random stranger who somehow gets sucked off course and finds this sight. Feel free to comment or even request stories. The more inspiration that I have, the more I can explore the limits of imagination and using literary works to rest for a moment from the tedious demands of reality.

In the beginning, I will be uploading many of my already written works. Though most of them are written for the gaming website Achaea.com, which is a text based MUD that I have been playing since 1998. My current main character in Achaea is the Dwarven Paladin known as Goryllin. His viewpoint is used in many of my current stories, as I draw upon his life and his world to create the science fantasty realities in which my story characters dwell.

Achaea is a medieval setting fantasy world, filled with Dwarves, Humans, Trolls, and many more fantastical races and professions. It is a living and breathing world in that every player has a chance to change the world and its direction. It is a player driven roleplay enhanced realm where combat, life, death and yes even taxes are all a part of the experience. We wouldn't mind having you drop by for a visit and pint of ale, if you do visit please send Goryllin a message and he will be glad to help you.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The beginning, is it also the ending?

First and foremost, there is no ill will here. Not towards the Angel who has so captured me and carried away my imagination and desire. Nor towards the innocent other party on the other end of the spectrum. None of these feelings were planned, sometimes the world twists upon itself and throws our plans into disarray.

The story starts with a friendship, no ulterior motives or plans need apply. A quickly growing comradeship develops into an appreciation of like mind, quick wit and banter ease understanding and allow true laughter. Gentle chiding and teasing sarcasm lay a ground work for comfortable rapport.

Unwittingly, harmless flirting slowly blooms into serious compliments. Off handed gestures develop romantic flourishes. A simple glance lingers until it becomes a blazing recognition of desire. Struggling to clear the head and remember boundaries dissolves into a longing to feel the passion released.

And thus it grows, ignoring frantic attempts to hold back emotions and safeguard hearts. A wild storm front clears all obstacles and the world seems to fade away. Two souls, entwined, laying on a beach woven of fantasy. Every touch ignites, every caress melts the cares away. A single hesitant kiss tears passion from quivering lips and ends in a panting exclamation of awe.

Magic sweeps through the room, nothing else matters. Time passes, yet it stands still for these two as they gaze searchingly into the eyes of the other. Secrets tumble forth against better judgement,  dreams are shared and even expanded upon. Potential embarrassment and fright becomes a shared sense of understanding and acceptance. The world appears perfect.

But this is just one world, and this angel seems to reside in two worlds now. One she has known and feels the comforts of, and another that was just thrust upon her by fate or chance. These two worlds can not share the same space, they have the same demands and the same desires but two very different outcomes. She can not remain in both, though they tug at her and whisper glorious promises.

And now the angel wraps herself in her wings and flies into the heavens, troubled emotions raging in her breast as she ponders this new reality. How unfair things must seem, as she struggles to understand what happened and how she ended in this predicament. A decision must be made, lest two worlds collide and both die. Yet she is not ready, and so she flees. Dragging a wing in each world, she mourns on the inside and desperately tries to keep her face calm.

Below, the paladin gazes up where his angel disappeared. Both pain and understanding course over his features, as he comes to grip with the fact that his arms are empty of his beloved. Watching her vanish into the distance, he sees the shadow of her wing remaining to gently caress his face. He knows she must feel something for him, but he has no way to judge the heart of an angel. Laying back on the sand, the paladin feels the magic begin to fade but the soft murmur of his name drifts down from above and suddenly he is reminded of her face resting on his chest. Closing his eyes, he lays back and cherishes that memory. While the road ahead is murky and he knows not if he will ever see his angel again, he must continue on and be ready for the future.

One last impulse overtakes the paladin before he departs from the safety of the beach. Reaching down to pluck a few beautiful roses, he arranges them in a simple diagram. Should the angel find herself able to choose his world, he has given her directions to his heart.  


  1. I am in tears :'( beautiful

  2. Beautifully written and very swoonerific. That being said, I have some thoughts as to the wisdom of the situation, were it happening in real life...

    I have read this story many times in many guises over the years. I have even lived it in a way. Nobody, angel or otherwise, can live in two worlds at once. All involved parties must choose whether to proceed on the same path, come ruin or rapture, or to align with their truest and noblest hearts and prevent the rending of all 3 realitles.

  3. Metaphor..Metaphor..how I love thee..you are obviously a man of great depth of thought and feeling..but much afraid. Love is the strongest pull, desire and necessity in life to all of us. The question is not what should she do here. But, what do you want and do you have the courage to go after it? I do not mean go after it with a metaphor. But with plain, bottom line communication. I love you and and want you to choose my world says it clearly. Arranging a simple diagram leaves too much to guess on what you feel. Your world will not end and your fear with be gone in a moment in time. One never knows what could have been if they never take the jump. Say it clear and simple. I think you will be pleasantly surprised! Clarity is best and it disspells any guessing. Or you can continue to dream and think later..I shoulda, woulda coulda.

    1. I absolutely agree. It's extremely troubling that in a time such as we find ourselves with massive opportunities for communication some find themselves trapped in supposition and relying on metaphors. Fear is crippling and takes away your power. Real men face their fears head on and don't cower behind words and fantastic dreams afraid to interact with reality. Just Sayin'

    2. Curious where the idea of fear entered the picture

    3. As am I. The second comment was a pretty strong attack, without knowing anything of a potential situation. There is no fear in here, and communication has been utilized. Part of the communication being the fact of writing poems and stories, but real communication happens. Crazy what it is like to know the rest of the story, eh.

  4. Feelings and words are beautiful. Bravery and courage in the face of potential loss and rejection is key. If as human beings we're not bold and take risks Love and feelings remain words and somewhat one sided. Claiming what you want boldly and intensly regardless of the fear of loss and rejection are what's necessary. Stand up and announce you're feelings in great detail or hide in your heart. Choice is yours.

  5. Your writing touches and speaks to my soul. I envy that kind of love. It truly is once in a lifetime and not one everyone ever finds. Best wishes in the battle to win your angel....

    1. I am curious on the battle. Have you won her yet? Or does the war wage on?
      I am only curious because you write so eloquently and passionately in these stories, I have been praying for your victory.

    2. Thank you for reading, and for the well wishes. They mean a lot to me, have encouraged me greatly.

      It took me quite a while to write about my situation, but your question prompted me to write another story. I fear that it might be missing the eloquence that you admire, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.


    3. So I take it you have lost your angel? I am so sorry....I was truly hoping for a fairytale of a deep love for you and her.

      No, eloquence is only lessened by the pain of the words put forth. It is evident you are very much deeply in love with this woman. This type of love and depth does not come around again....no other angels, least not of that caliber.

      You are in my prayers that this angel will come to you and you will have your hearts desire.

  6. I was truly hoping for a fairytale as well, though those seem in very short supply these days.

    I thank you for your prayers and support.

  7. Fairytales and true love can be everywhere and anywhere...as you so profoundly have written it takes a warrior like a Paladin to summon the strength and courage to go after it with a passionate vengence.

    I do not know either of you, however, given the message in your stories, I must say I can not imagine a person who so deeply affects you to not be so deeply affected herself. It seems as though you touch each other on a soul level....and that is very much worth fighting for.

    Please keep this updated as I truly would want to know that you are one of the very few people in this world to have a love so deep and true that is equally shared.