Welcome to the thoughts of a Dwarf. This intrepid site is designed primarily to allow a place where I can store all of my writings, be it stories or poems or illogical philosophical rants. I hope to be able to provide interesting reading material for my friends and the random stranger who somehow gets sucked off course and finds this sight. Feel free to comment or even request stories. The more inspiration that I have, the more I can explore the limits of imagination and using literary works to rest for a moment from the tedious demands of reality.

In the beginning, I will be uploading many of my already written works. Though most of them are written for the gaming website Achaea.com, which is a text based MUD that I have been playing since 1998. My current main character in Achaea is the Dwarven Paladin known as Goryllin. His viewpoint is used in many of my current stories, as I draw upon his life and his world to create the science fantasty realities in which my story characters dwell.

Achaea is a medieval setting fantasy world, filled with Dwarves, Humans, Trolls, and many more fantastical races and professions. It is a living and breathing world in that every player has a chance to change the world and its direction. It is a player driven roleplay enhanced realm where combat, life, death and yes even taxes are all a part of the experience. We wouldn't mind having you drop by for a visit and pint of ale, if you do visit please send Goryllin a message and he will be glad to help you.

Monday, May 7, 2012

It's complicated.

Confusion fills my mind, nothing seems to be clear.
Just a minor lark, so how did we end up here?

Friendship was the intention, all other doors were closed.
But certain words were said, and my heart became exposed.

Against the test of time, I have fortified my will.
And yet but a mere mortal am I, who sets his castle upon a hill.

Not believing my luck, I grasped for reason.
If I knew there was a trick, how can I feel such treason.

Perhaps unwittingly, you knew the secret knock.
Your eyes sank into my soul, and somehow broke the lock.

I swear that I fought against it, that I held myself in check.
Knowing it was too early, yet I still find myself hitting the deck.

Withdrawing now, I watch from afar.
Words hold no power any more, instead smearing like tar.

If only wishes came true, as I stand here watching you.
I would create the most beautiful fantasy, using only us two.

As the sun and the moon circle, I wonder which you choose.
Can you expect to hold both, or did one already lose.

We might have shared dreams, but there seems to be something missing.
Was there truth behind the secret whispers, or just an excuse to be kissing.

I have no answers anymore, and no idea where to turn.
So my feelings are here to see, while my heart slowly burns.

Never did I hold a desire to disrupt, wanting nothing but a friend.
That seems so far away now, as if this is our only trend.

How can you treasure my embrace, and yet return smiling to clutch his arm.
Patiently I try to wait, but every second seems to bring me closer to harm.

To borrow from a song, should I stay or should I go.
Yet no matter what choice you make, I never wish you to be a foe.

Sharing you is impossible, I find myself beginning to understand.
Should never have soared so high, without knowing how to land.

An earnest request drifts on the wind, somehow escaping my sealed lips
End the complicated battle, let me know before my heart rips.

And so I once again consider my feelings, everything must be rated.
With so many ups and downs, all that I can say is "It's complicated"


  1. She loves you too...It's obvious...

  2. So I thought.

    Though that brings me to this particular line: How can you treasure my embrace, and yet return smiling to clutch his arm.

  3. Have you met him? Or could she feel the same way about you and be telling you about him to try and make you escalate to her?

  4. He is real. She cares about you too. She different understands the relationship status "it's complicated". But that's where the title for this poem came from.

  5. My point is girls use the excuse dating other guys to get the guy she wants attention. In the same respect as people threaten "Lawyers" when they have no lawyer or aren't seeing a LAWYER.

  6. He exists. If it was an attempt to make me fight harder, it worked. But how long can one keep fighting against the grain, to give it all without knowing if it makes a difference in the end?

    1. I totally agree with another post here...call her or see her or even email the girl these poems or just point blank tell her. A girl that involved wants you..all of you.
      An alternate perspective is maybe she is scared becaue she doesnt know for sure either...hence the "tell her" point blank and direct...email, in person, on the phone...whatever. Life is too short for if and maybe's..this way you will both know and can move on.

    2. Dude...I have seen this many times before. You don't feel this way, this deep unrecipricated. You are at the poing you have to know. Do it. Make the move. You're extremely smart and deep. Do it.

  7. Your an amazing person and these are beautiful. She doesn't deserve you. Not when she doesn't know what to do.

  8. I believe she wants you, all of you. be ready and bold friend