A note from me to you

Most of my life has been spent picturing love as rainbows, unicorns, and fireworks in the sky every moment. It was this deepest feeling of the grandest emotion ever time that I laid eyes upon my love. It was an earth shaking experience that would forever rock me to my core.

The problem was that I also thought that love would occur at first sight, that I would lay eyes upon someone and know deep in my heart that we were meant to be together and they would know it too. I imagined that I could simply look into someone’s eyes and they would know how I would feel and everything would be magical and perfect from that moment on.

Yet at this very moment, I sit here and reflect upon you. There was no magical missile that fired across the sky when I met you. No fireworks display or beating hearts. I did not sink into a montage of rose petals flowing away from a vision of you dressed in very sexy attire and my eyes did not turn into spinning hearts as I went gaga. Instead we exchanged a laugh and smile at a simple joke someone else said and we went on our own way. Nothing tugged at my soul, ripped the sky down to get my attention or anything that I thought would announce love.

Even when you accepted my stumbling and nervous request and allowed me to take you on dates, none of these signs manifest themselves. Instead, I found myself doing things that I normally would not do and accepting situations and circumstances that I used to avoid. Previously I had spent so much time looking for someone who understood all of my jokes, read the same books, watched the same movies, knew what I knew, and wanted what I wanted. And yet each time that you came out of your shell and talked with me more and actually interacted, I took those desires and goals and threw them upon the ground.

Now I glance up from this note to watch you lying peacefully in bed, and I remember my old definition of love. Perhaps I might even snort at the folly of youth, as I consider the truths that I have learned during my time with you.

Instead of floating on air every moment, try constantly searching out ways to bring a smile to your face. Forgetting rainbows or unicorns, watch for the contented gleam in your eyes and listen for the whispered thank you in the middle of the night. Watching those who are caught up in what I had thought was love, I am reminded of a passionate display that is only skin deep.

Love is not in the overt expressions of affection, but instead in the carefully threaded patch sewn upon torn pants. Not in the smothering kisses when others are watching, but instead in the simple dinner prepared by tired hands. I know love is not found in the flaunting pictures and sayings that are posted to the social media websites. Instead I see love in the compromise to fit two lives together. . So many scoff at the idea of true love;  but I think that what they scoff at is the Hollywood version of overt expression and everything fitting together without a hitch. It is only when things do not instantly mesh and you must work to find the right balance that you can experience the liberation of love, for then you realize that the things that used to mean so much matter less when compared to the happiness of the one you love.

It is in those still dark moments at night, when all of life's worries start to compound themselves and manifest in every corner.. that is when the thought of your smile calms me and I realize that I am safe in your arms. I know that things are not always easy, and that sometimes the stresses of life have proven to be greater than we expected. However, as I put my hands to my lips and feel the lingering effects of your last kiss..

I feel like the earth is shifting beneath my feet, and fireworks are bursting above my head.